Recipie for a Portrait


  • 1 Subject can be fresh, pickled or hard-boiled.
  • 2 - 5 Cups of Coffee or Wine
  • A Teaspoon of Confidence
  • A Handful of Honesty
  • A Few Drops of Dignity
  • A Sprinkle of Soul

First set subject aside to sit in a warm comfortable place until relaxed, occasionally basting with coffee or wine. Next, carefully peel away any anxiety, fear or pretence, making sure not to ruffle any feathers or bruise the ego. Sprinkle confidence over the subject before stirring in a generous handful of honesty, and taste to ensure that all traces of self-doubt or bitterness are gone. Turn the intimacy up to high, add the dignity and soul and let the subject simmer gently for up to 2 hours without boiling over until the surface becomes transparent.

Serve on a bed of garlic mash (optional).